R2 is furious. He has just endured a 3 hour torture of watching MNIK and desperately needs some drinks to recover. He enters the living room and finds Godzilla having a drink with a stranger.
R2 (to the stranger): Who are you?
Stranger: My name is Nikhat Kazmi and I gave 5 stars to MNIK in my TOI column. timesofindia.indiatimes.com/moviereview/5555396.cms
R2: My name is R2 and I want to kick your balls and get my money back!
Godzilla: Hahaha!! Nikki Dude, I told you that these morons will not realize that your review was a prank!
Godzilla gives a high five to Nikhat and they both laugh hysterically. R2 never knew that Godzilla was chummy with slimy Bollywood “critics”. But Godzilla has surprised R2 before.
Godzilla: R2, how dumb one needs to be to take seriously a review that refers to SRK performance as “Definitely, this one's a few miles ahead of even Tom Hank's Forrest Gump”
Nikhat (proudly): Or consider this gem, “it is the searing simplicity of Karan Johar's narration that scintillates. Choosing a protagonist who suffers from Asperger's Syndrome seems to be a deliberate move on the part of the film maker and it works like a master stroke.” Haha, I laughed my @$$ off when I wrote this. I have no freaking clue what I meant!
Godzilla laughs again. R2 is perplexed.
Nikhat: In fact, I have already written a review for the sequel “My name is K..K..K..Khan and I am fat”. It is a story about a very fat Indian guy who wants to be the president of USA. He flies in Southwest airline to meet Obama to ask him if he can replace him as the president. Southwest folks kick him out because he is too fat. They force him to eat salad for several days. After many dramatic twists and turns, the movie ends up with Khan capturing Bin Laden, marrying Karan Johar and saving Southwest from bankruptcy.
R2: I don’t think SRK will be believable as a very fat guy.
Godzilla: As if he was believable as an autistic, hehe.. Nikki, wanna join us for dinner?
Nikhat: No yaar, Karan Johar is buying me dinner, groceries and underwear for the rest of my life, need to head out.
Godzilla: That’s cool. Hey, when you meet KJo, can you ask him a question for me – I have been thinking about it for a long time.
Nikhat: Any time Godzee! What’s the question?
Godzilla: If SRK’s character was so mortally afraid of the yellow color, how did he poop?
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LOL...this one's really funny!! You may just have hit the nail on the head as far as TOI Bollywood flick reviews are concerned :-)
ReplyDeleteLovely!! Very funny too..... all those years of writing PAF scripts sure seems to have paid off;-))
ReplyDeleteI have to watch the movie now.... its crazy that everyone I know around the globe seems to have watched the movie and I haven´t!
More like social script Nandini!
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