Godzilla’s list: 6 lamest Gods from the Hindu Mythology

#6 Brahma:

If you go by the job description, Brahma should have been a stud! He is supposed to be the Creator. In any other religion he would have been the God no. 1, with the biggest fan following. However, no one worships Brahma in Hinduism!

Story goes that he was infatuated with one of his daughters and hence a lifetime ban on Brahma worship was imposed (lifetime bans really suck, especially if you have an eternal existence). Poor Brahma didn’t have a choice – as a creator, every women was his daughter or nth order derivative.

To add to the lameness - while every other God carries cool weapons, Brahma carries around a book and a spoon (WTF!).


#5 Indra:

Indra is the king of the tier 2 Gods of Hindu mythology. This Somras (divine liquor) drinking, Apsara (divine dancers) drooling, extremely insecure and weak king of Gods must have been the role model for all the Desi Maharajas of the British era.

Apparently, Indra was cursed by Gautama (a saint whose wife Indra had duped into having sex) to lose his testicles. Indra later gets a new pair of testicles from a ram with the help of Agni (the Fire god). Most definitely the 1st documented instance of a successful testicles transplant!

Indra is repeatedly humiliated by many demonic kings like Ravana of Lanka, whose son Indrajit (whose name literally means “victor over Indra”) bound Indra in nooses and dragged him across Lanka in a humiliating display. Upon which Indra agreed to pay tribute and to accept supremacy of Ravana.

Hail to the Maharaja!


#4 Yama:

Yama was absolutely ecstatic to accept the offer to become the “God of Death”, arguably a cool sounding God title. Little did he realize that the perks included living in the Hell forever. Rest assured that the Hindu Hell has far worse living index than the Christian Hell. Just compare the public restrooms in India vs. those in the West.


#3 & #2 Yudhisthir and Laxmana (tie):

Round 1:

Laxmana: His elder brother Rama is very happy after getting married to princess Sita through swayamvar.com and is planning a little forest vacation. Laxman decides to become kabob_mein_haddi and joins them in the forest.

Yudhisthira: His younger brother Arjuna is very happy after getting married to princess Draupadi through swayamvar.com and is planning a little exotic vacation. Yudhisthir decides to become kabob_mein_haddi and joins them in their husband-wife relationship.

R1 winner: Yudhisthira!

Round 2:

Yudhisthira: In a reckless move, he gambles away his wife, triggering the events that led to the epic battle of Mahabharata.

Laxamana: In a reckless move, he cuts off the nose of a lady who proposes to him, triggering the events than led to the epic battle of Ramayana.

R2 winner: Laxmana

Overall: Tie


#1 Holy Cow

Lame. Period. Need I say any more?