Godzilla on funny superstitions

1.Cawing of a black crow – signals arrival of guests

In India, all crows are black. They are everywhere and they crow all the time. In India, miraculously enough, lot of guests keep arriving. Completely unannounced. All the time. Guess this superstition is on strong foundations afterall.

My mom, one of the most accomplished practitioner of the cawing-crow signal system, has honed her skills to perfection. If the cawing-crow also tries to pick for the food, mom knows that the guest will demand lunch. She tries to shoo them away. If a particular crow is persistent and keeps coming back, she is sure that we are dealing with a really sticky guest. In fact, she can even tell which exact relative will be our next guest by just observing the crows (she never told me how exactly she does that)


2. Saying “knock on wood” and then tapping anything made out of wood – enables continued good fortune / avoids tempting fate

This is clearly a western import, but they say the same thing about cricket. While most educated Indians look down upon desi superstitions, they all have completely endorsed this one. In fact, we have a perfect swadesi alternative superstition that achieves exactly the same purpose – “nazar na lage, and then put lot of kajal in your eyes”. However, “knock on wood” has knocked out “nazar na lage” the same way cricket has knocked out gilli-danda.

A scene in CEO’s boardroom:

CEO: We made a huge profit in the last quarter. Knock on wood (he taps the desk).
Other Executives: Knock on wood (they all tap the desk).

The executive who wants to win some extra snaps from the CEO continues tapping the desk until the CEO asks him to stop. Versions of this scene happen frequently in several corporate settings.

Imagine the same scene:

CEO: We made a huge profit in the last quarter. Nazar na lage (his secretary comes and puts kajal in his eyes)
Other executives (all of them have put on lot of kajal): Nazar na lage, Nazar na lage, Nazar na lage.

Can we get our nazar na lage back?


3. Bless You – you say this when someone sneezes

You know that a superstition has arrived when it transcends the levels of absurd faith to reach the rarefied heights of fine culture. If I forget to say “bless you” to my wife when she sneezes, I am in trouble. Her first response is “where are your manners?” It gets worse on repeat offense, “I know you don’t love me”!!

I did some research on this one. Apparently the Pope asked the Romans to say “bless you” to the folks who sneezed during the bubonic plague of 6th century. Sneezing was an early symptom for the plague. He was asking people to bless the soul of someone who was about to die! WTF!! Knock on wood please!

What if Shankaracharya had declared that everyone must say “Jai Ho” when someone farted. After all, farting is an early symptom of diarrhea which was the biggest cause of deaths in 6th century India.

Imagine this scene:

Godzilla lets a rip roaring fart and then giggles.
R2: (instinctively) Jai Ho!

R2 (after some time): Dude, you have totally ruined the song for me!!